from the dog

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: JUNE CERRETA
Date: Fri, Jan 7, 2011 at 10:02 PM
Subject: Fw: Dear God: from the dog

To:

 
—– Original Message —–

From: Karen
Ausprung
Sent: Thursday, January 06, 2011 6:08 AM
Subject: FW: Dear God: from the dog

From:
To: ;
Subject: Fwd: Dear God: from the dog
Date: Wed, 5 Jan 2011
11:22:19 -0500

Cute!

 

 

 

Read
Down……………..

 

 

 

 

 

From:
THE DOG

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Dear
God:  Is it on purpose our names are the
same, only reversed?

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Dear
God:  Why do humans smell the flowers, but
seldom, if ever, smell one
another?

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Dear
God:  When we get to heaven, can we sit on
your couch? Or is it still the same old
story?

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Dear
God:  Why are there cars named after the
jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the
stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for
a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding
around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so
hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the
'Chrysler Beagle'?

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Dear
God:  If a Dog barks his head off in the
forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad
Dog?

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Dear
God: We Dogs can understand human verbal
instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns,
clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic
energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do
humans understand?

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Dear
God:  More meatballs, less spaghetti,
please.

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Dear
God:  Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there
are, will I have to
apologize?

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Dear
God:  Let me give you a list of just some
of the things I must remember to be a good
Dog.

1.
I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it
or after they throw it up.

2.
I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs,
etc., just because I like the way they
smell.

3.
The Litter Box is not a cookie
jar.

4.
The sofa is not a 'face
towel'.

5.
The garbage collector is not stealing our
stuff.

6.
I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear
when he's on the toilet.

7. 
Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an
unacceptable way of saying
'hello'.

8.
I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when
I'm under the coffee table

9.
I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before
entering the house – not
after.

10.
I will not come in from outside and immediately
drag my butt across the
carpet.

11.
I will not sit in the middle of the living room
and lick my crotch.

12.
The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play
with him and he makes that noise, it's usually
not a good thing.

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Description: ATT0001014.gifP.S. 
Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my
testicles back?

 

 

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