A Few Idiots!

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: JUNE CERRETA
Date: Wed, Apr 4, 2012 at 6:21 PM
Subject: Fw: Fw: A Few Idiots!

To:

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!!!
 
 
 

 

 

 

 Idiots!

 
 

They
walk among us!

 
Number One
Idiot

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation
in toxicology at the
poison control center.

Today,
this woman called in very upset because she caught her
little
daughter eating ants.

I quickly reassured her
that the ants are not harmful and there would
be no need to
bring her daughter into the hospital.

She calmed down
and at the end of the conversation happened to mention
that
she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill
the
ants.

I told her that she better bring her
daughter into the emergency room
right away.

Here's
your sign, lady. Wear it with
pride.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Two
Idiot

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the
airfield decided to
steal a life raft from one of the
747s.

They were successful in getting it out of the
plane and home.

Shortly after they took it for a float
on the river, they noticed a
Coast Guard helicopter coming
toward them.

It turned out that the chopper was homing
in on the emergency locator
beacon that activated when the
raft was inflated.

They are no longer employed at
Boeing.

Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the
paint might run.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number
Three Idiot

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of
America, walked into the
Branch and wrote this, “Put all
your muny in this bag.”;

While standing in line,
waiting to give his note to the teller, he
began to worry
that someone had seen him write the note and might call
the
police before he reached the teller's window.

So he
left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells
Fargo Bank.

After waiting a few minutes in line, he
handed his note to the Wells
Fargo teller.

She
read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't
the
brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could
not accept his
stickup note because it was written on a
Bank of America deposit slip
and that he would either have
to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip
or go back to Bank
of America.

Looking somewhat defeated, the man said,
“OK” and left.

He was arrested a few minutes later, as
he was waiting in line back at
Bank of
America .

Don't bother
with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it
anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number
Four Idiot
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an
automated speed trap that
measured his speed using radar
and photographed his car.

He later received in the mail
a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car.

Instead of
payment, he sent the police department a photograph of
$40.

Several days later, he received a letter from the
police that
contained another picture, this time of
handcuffs.

He immediately mailed in his
$40.

Wise guy … But you still get a
sign.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number
Five Idiot

A guy walked into a little corner store with
a shotgun and demanded
all of the cash from the cash
drawer.

After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the
robber saw a bottle of
Scotch that he wanted behind the
counter on the shelf. He told the
cashier to put it in the
bag as well, but the cashier refused and
said, “Because I
don't believe you are over 21.”;

The robber said he
was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him
because
she didn't believe him.

At this point, the robber took
his driver's license out of his wallet
and gave it to the
clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was
in fact over 21
and she put the Scotch in the
bag.

The robber then ran from the store with his
loot.

The cashier promptly called the police and gave
the name and address
of the robber that he got off the
license.

They arrested the robber two hours
later.

This guy definitely needs a
sign.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idiot Number
Six

A pair of
Michigan robbers entered a
record shop nervously waving revolvers.
The first one
shouted, “Nobody move!”;

When his partner moved, the
startled first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn't even
deserve a sign.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idiot
Number Seven

Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted
some beer pretty badly.

He decided that he'd just throw
a cinder block through a liquor store
window, grab some
booze, and run.

So he lifted the cinder block and
heaved it over his head at the
window. The cinder block
bounced back knocking him unconscious.

It seems the
liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.

The whole
event was caught on videotape.

Yep, here's your
sign.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idiot
Number Eight

I live in a semi-rural area.

We
recently had a new neighbor call the local township
administrative
office to request the removal of the Deer
Crossing sign on our road.

The reason: “Too many deer
are being hit by cars out here! I don't
think this is a
good place for them to be crossing anymore.”;
Take the sign
- Please!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stay
Alert!

They walk among us … they Reproduce …
they
Vote

and I'm sure that many of them hold
elected office

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