Simple Truths and 5 Rules

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Date: Sun, Jul 1, 2012 at 3:57 PM
Subject: Fw: Simple Truths and 5 Rules
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Subject: Fw: Simple
Truths and 5 Rules
 
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From: "Subject: FW:
Simple Truths and 5 Rules

 
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@—–Original
Message—–From: Bill Kesneck <billkes@comcast.net>To:
Undisclosed-Recipient:;Sent: Tue, Jun 12, 2012 4:57
pmSubject: Fw: Fwd: Simple Truths and 5 Rules
 
 
                             
SIMPLE TRUTH – 1

Partners
help each other undress before sex.

However after
sex, they always dress on their own.

Moral of
the story:
In life, no one helps you once you're
screwed.

 
 

                             
SIMPLE TRUTH – 2
When
a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and
say "congrats".

But, none of them come and touch
the man's penis and say "Good job".

Moral of
the story:
"Hard work is never appreciated."

 
 
 

No
Underwear – Makes Sense to Me

A
man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his
grandfather sitting on the porch in the rocking chair
wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down.

'Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out
in the wind for everyone to see!' he exclaimed.

The old man looked off in the distance without
answering.

'Grandpa, what are you doing sitting
out here with nothing on below the waist?' he asked again.

The old man slowly looked at him and said,
'Well… last week I sat out here with no shirt on and I
got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea.'



        
FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE


1.

Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to
cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.

2.

Forgive your enemy, but remember the ass-hole's name.


3.
If you help someone when they're in
trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble
again.

4.
Many people are alive only
because it's illegal to shoot them.

5.

Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does
milk.


THERE YOU HAVE IT… and remember,
life
is good.

 
 

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