More Blonde Jokes

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: JUNE CERRETA
Date: Tue, Feb 5, 2013 at 7:57 AM
Subject: Fw: Fw:
To:


DISNEYLAND

Two blondes were
going to Disneyland .

They
were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT.
They started crying and turned around and went home.

FLORIDA OR
MOON

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking,

and
one blonde says to the other,

'Which
do you think is farther away… Florida or the moon?'

The
other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida
?????'

CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station.

She
tells the mechanic it died.

After
he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's
the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often
do I have to do that?'

SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops
a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her
license.
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act
together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect
me to show it to you!'

RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for
a walk.

She
comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she
shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'
The second blonde looks up the
river then down the river and shouts back,

'You
ARE on the other side.'

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous
young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever
she touched it.
'Impossible!' says the doctor.. 'Show me.'
The redhead
took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed,

then
she pushed her elbow and screamed even more.

She
pushed her knee and screamed;

likewise she pushed her ankle and
screamed.

Everywhere she touched made her
scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no'
she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said,

'Your
finger is broken.'

KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled
alongside a speeding car on the freeway.

Glancing at the car,

he was
astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing
that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren,

the
trooper cranked down his window,

turned
on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S
A SCARF!'

BLONDE ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a
Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, 'We were the first in
space!'
The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'
The Blonde
said, 'So what?

We're
going to be the first on the sun!'

The
Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
'You
can't land on the sun, you idiot!

You'll
burn up!' said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied,

'We're
not stupid, you know.

We're
going at night!'

IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial
Pursuit one night…

It was
her turn.

She
rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.

Her
question was,

'If
you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'

She
thought for a time and then asked,

'Is it on or off?'

 

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE
TO END ALL
BLONDE JOKES!

A girl was visiting her blonde friend,

who
had acquired two new dogs,

and
asked her what their names were.

The
blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her
friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'
'HELLLOOOOOOO……,' answered the blonde.

'They're watch dogs'!

"Every job is a
self-portrait of the person who did it. Autograph your work with
excellence.”
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those that matter
- don't mind… and those that mind – don't matter."
"Love me when I don't
deserve it, because that is when I really need it." (Swedish
Proverb)

 

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