From: JUNE CERRETA
Date: Tue, Feb 5, 2013 at 7:57 AM
Subject: Fw: Fw:
Two blondes were
going to Disneyland .
were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT.
They started crying and turned around and went home.
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking,
one blonde says to the other,
do you think is farther away… Florida or the moon?'
other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station.
tells the mechanic it died.
he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often
do I have to do that?'
A police officer stops
a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect
me to show it to you!'
There's this blonde out for
comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she
shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'
The second blonde looks up the
river then down the river and shouts back,
ARE on the other side.'
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever
she touched it.
'Impossible!' says the doctor.. 'Show me.'
took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed,
she pushed her elbow and screamed even more.
pushed her knee and screamed;
likewise she pushed her ankle and
Everywhere she touched made her
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said,
finger is broken.'
A highway patrolman pulled
alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car,
astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren,
trooper cranked down his window,
on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a
Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, 'We were the first in
The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'
said, 'So what?
going to be the first on the sun!'
Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
can't land on the sun, you idiot!
burn up!' said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied,
not stupid, you know.
going at night!'
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial
Pursuit one night…
rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'
thought for a time and then asked,
'Is it on or off?'
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE
TO END ALL
A girl was visiting her blonde friend,
had acquired two new dogs,
asked her what their names were.
blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her
friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'
'HELLLOOOOOOO……,' answered the blonde.
'They're watch dogs'!
"Every job is a
self-portrait of the person who did it. Autograph your work with
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those that matter
– don't mind… and those that mind – don't matter."
"Love me when I don't
deserve it, because that is when I really need it." (Swedish